Written by – Johnny Peepers:
Damn, I couldn’t dream up a story this ridiculous if I tried. It seems that Naomi Campbell got her purse stole at the Led Zeppelin concert last night. Like that silly bitch had ever heard of the Master’s of Rock-Excess before the limo showed up to haul her coked-up ass to the show. The moral to this story is that folks who ain’t got no love for the cats on stage don’t need to be there .
I got a story about that. A few years back I was at a Neil Young concert down south in Atlanta. I had a pretty kick-ass seat, and some swill in my gut, so I was feeling Irie. It blew my mind just being there because I thought Neil would never venture south of the Mason-Dixon (he can’t stand red-necks). Anyways, Neil was playing acoustic guitar on one of the quieter passages from the “Greendale” album. Some drunk yuppie pricks were busy chatting up their clients and their bitches, right in front of the stage, creating an obnoxious commotion.
Atlanta’s Chastain Park is set up to invite this shit because they put a bunch of cloth-lined tables in the pit creating a country-club oppressor class environment. I sat up in the grass hill in the back because you could bring your own cooler of home-brew in and the ganja smoke don’t activate no narcs. So about halfway through the song Neil quits playing the and admonishes the perpetrators. He told them preppy wine-swilling numbnutz that they needed to shut up and that he does not like playing Atlanta because it is “the Vegas of the South” as far as crowds go. Neil cut that track short and went to the next song with a scowl on his face.
That shit pissed me off man. I got my ass up early on a Saturday morning to put down a big chunk of bread to see that show. Not only that, but the rest of the gig was more low-key as a result of the incident, and I could tell Neil wasn’t enjoying the scene. The bourgeoisie douche-bags were still talking their shit and laughing like it was a Jeff Foxworthy routine. It wasn’t until the encores when he got to work out the aggression. “Powderfinger” and “Rockin’ in the Free World” brought down the house and made up for all that other bullshit.
So where was I, yeah that silly bitch who got her purse stole. I ain’t saying she got no right to see the show, but there is a Karmic force that directed Campbell to get jacked for taking the seat that a real Zep-head shoulda been in. The retribution for her transgression was getting punked for her pocket-book. Next time she will know.
On a related note, I was looking at CNN International watching some clips from the show. I got to say I am a bit conflicted about their return. When the drummer, John Bonham, failed to make the Guinness Book of World Records for slamming the most quadruple vodkas, the band split up. They issued the following statement in 1980:
“We wish it to be known that the loss of our dear friend, and the deep sense of undivided harmony felt by ourselves and our manager, have led us to decide that we could not continue as we were.”
That meant the show was over, for good people. Now, any two-bit excuse that the former members can come up with (a dead Turk) to relive the glory days justifies doing violence to the memories of the real Led Zeppelin. I know it is a trivial complaint, but them niggas meant the world to me.
Starting when I was 16, I dedicated almost all of my paychecks to acquiring every recorded note that Zeppelin performed in the studio or live. Anybody that knows me can straight up tell you that I knew every tidbit of Zep trivia, including the dates of hundreds of concerts. So when a janky-ass fashion model loses her cell phones and her toot-vial for being somewhere she got no business being, Johnnypeepers just got to chuckle.
~ Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg
Talk yo shit below bitch!