The Antichrist’s Puppet – Joel Osteen

Johnnypeepers will be silent no more. The days of impending doom are fast upon us. The false prophets (emissaries of Lucifer) are waging a full-scale spiritual attack on every inch of Earth. The Satanic filth pervading our television screens, movie houses, radio airwaves, and newspapers is a sign of the impending Prophecy. The flesh-peddling pornographers, Hollywood Atheists, and the seed of Ishmail are working in concert to destroy the almighty Kingdom of God, and his loyal followers.

My dear friends, we are now in the final days of preparation for the ultimate climactic battle. This is a message of urgency compelling my like-minded brethren to annihilate the slaves of the False one, starting with his legion of silver-tongued devils.

Joel Osteen is one such purveyor of sinful decadence. He deceivingly wraps himself in the shroud of respectable Christian authority. He has led many Christian soldiers, unknowingly, to the Liar’s ranks, swelling their numbers, and pitting the righteous against the soulless. I have strong suspicions (though I am still in the process of verifying this information) that Osteen receives orders directly from the Antichrist, whose Earthly-name is Ban ki-moon (Secretary-General of the United Nations).

Osteen is a pervasive and demonic influence in our homes and churches. The Liar’s ambassador infects the airwaves with his destructive Satanic teachings and empty fake smile. Several years ago, I fell prey to his influence, his inspiring sermons, and his commanding oratorical demeanor. I later learned that all of Osteen’s traits are a meticulously crafted form of personality-fraud, a product of his years of instruction in the black arts.

After wasting thousands of dollars contributing to his false ministry (including a Hajj-like voyage to Osteen’s birthplace in Houston in 2005), I learned of his role in the impending Great Tribulation. He has received monetary (and in-kind) support from the Liar’s minions, including those in the Satanic media (such as Barbara Walters, who named him one of the 10 most fascinating people of 2006).

I care not, at this time, to tell you how I learned of Osteen’s treachery, and his Biblical prophecy-role in the coming days. Revealing this now would jeopardize my network of sources and methods dedicated to subverting the Antichrist from within his poisonous ranks. Suffice it to say that I am to be trusted, lest my beast-mark brand be revealed and I shall be the first cast into the lake of fire.

According to information that I received from a brother in Christ (prompting me to immediately write this urgent post):

Osteen says that he chooses to focus on the goodness of God rather than sin. In answer to questions raised over why he does not include many Bible verses in his books, he says that he sees himself as more of a life coach, and thinks that there are probably others better qualified, or more gifted for explaining Bible verses.

The Deceiver’s puppets know the omnipotence of the Word of God. They cannot utter the great words and messages contained in The Book, because to do so, would give credence and authority to the power and the Truth contained therein. I always asked myself Why Osteen refused to give thanks and praises by focusing on the words of our Lord, and now I know.

There is no such thing as a life-coach in the Kingdom of God. Jesus was not sent into this World by the Heavenly Father to motivate his followers with empty Scripture-less orations designed to boost spirits and make people feel good about sinning. He directed his followers to achieve ever-lasting salvation by emphasizing the true word of God, not by assuming the role of motivational speaker or personality-cult ambassador.

Osteen’s conspicuous omission of reference to the Scripture is intentional and designed to drive a wedge between the faithful and the easily deceived. I, like the prodigal son before me, have rejected this false prophet and returned to the flock of the faithful. I implore you to renounce the Liar’s agents and prepare for the bloody days ahead.

Behold the false prophet’s fate:

Revelation 19:19-20 (New International Version)

Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against the rider on the horse and his army. But the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who had performed the miraculous signs on his behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped his image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur.