As the years wore on from early childhood to school age, it felt as if I was only going through the expected linear time-line motions. I had no other choice but to keep out the sail and pray for calm weather. It didn’t come.
From an early age, I always felt a bit of an outcast. Well, at least I wasn’t like one of my fellow first-graders, Russell. He was a drooling idiot that had his desk placed next to the teacher because he couldn’t keep his shit together. He promptly took his Crayola’s and tagged up her desk with nonsensical markings. The teach was a hot piece too – my first adult female crush in fact. I reckon that is where I developed my affinity for take charge, no nonsense broads. She abused her authority though. Consequently, I had to deny her my pre-pubescent meatsicle.
The government school I went to was ratcheted down to teaching the slowest kid in the room, so my mind would wander plenty. I turned into a bit of a discipline problem. As a result, the psycho, frizz-haired, cunt-face, assistant principal would have to take a paddle to my ass. I developed gluteal muscle tightening techniques to deflect the severity of the blows. She used to tell me not to clinch up, but that directive wasn’t in the handbook bitch!
Despite a few exceptions, I played it pretty straight until junior high. When I hit the teens, life began to get a bit complicated. I had hooked up with a new set of mates, most of them were at least two grades ahead of me. At the time, I was what you would have called a skate rat. I spent most of my free time prowling the streets seeking my concrete jungle thrills. My mum accused me of being a “street urchin” for staying out late downtown.
All the freaks went downtown – the skinheads, the punks, the dopers, the old winos, the bumpkins, the whores, you name it. I didn’t give a shit about all that, I was there to shred. In fact, the skateboard probably kept me out of a lot of trouble. Unfortunately, I got side-tracked with other endeavors necessitating my isolation from my fellow members of society.