Life in the Little House

Lockup was a bitch. I had a 5’X7′ cell with a shoe box sized cloudy plastic window. The stainless steel toilet was too cold to firmly plant your buttocks for a proper expulsion. The mattress was piss-proof rubber and about 2 inches thick. The vinyl pillow was the size of a turkey breast. But, the worst thing was the desperate voices that screamed at lights out. Kids crying for their mamas. Broken down disposable children in real emotional pain. That shit haunted me more than anything else.

I spent many hours in my cell unable to sleep – just staring at the wall. My reading material consisted of exactly one fucking Dog Fancy magazine. When I got bored reading classifieds for $1,000 bitch ass French poodles I would do push-ups. It was during this time I severely contemplated my next moves in life (getting a fat steak and losing my pesky ass virginity).

Meal time was incredibly rushed. In seemed that our handlers got bonuses for wrapping it up quick. 5 minutes with a plastic spoon was the norm. You had to slop it up fast or the uneaten portion would disappear. You got punished for sharing food. I went to bed hungry every night. That had never happened to me before. If I closed my eyes long enough, the visions of pizza pies and hamburgers would dwindle away until the morning.

A couple of times a week visitors would come to see the inmates. We all sit in a large circular room with dozens of chairs lining the wall. There were few fathers or male visitors. Usually there would be a sad looking mum with several rug rats in tow. After visitation, we were marched into the gym for a strip search. Our captors took great delight in inspecting our twigs, berries, and rectal hideaways. Tis institutional life I reckon.

The days ran on in a monotonous flurry. Same shit every day, only the numbers on the calendar changed. I had almost become numb to my new environs until…I heard the guard bang on my door after 11:00 p.m. one night. “Get your ass up, your movin’ out tonight.” I asked him what was going on and he indicated that an extremely violent offender had just been brought in and that the facility was out of bed space. I didn’t probe the chap any further and followed him through the series of security doors. My old man was waiting for me in a t-shirt and wearing a scowl. They had wrecked his restful sleep by asking him to come pick up his garbage.

27 Responses to “Life in the Little House”

  1. June 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    At least you had a “turkey” pillow. Try using a toilet paper roll as the only option to rest your head on. And styrofoam sheets to keep you warm on a wooden bench thats supposed to be your bed. Life in the bings really isnt fun. I love my “freedom”.

  2. 2 msmilie
    June 4, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Outstanding. The first few posts were tentative, but this one was much more assured of its content. Great job, Peepers.

  3. 3 c
    June 4, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    How are kids supposed to be rehabilitated in this manner?

    Well written and moving.

  4. June 5, 2008 at 12:29 am

    sicbeats: I didn’t have it bad. Every experience is relative to another’s subjective benchmark. Mine was a stay at a 5-star Hilton in comparison to the nightmares of many.

    msmilie: Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it. The earlier posts were just a springboard to where I am trying to go.

    c: Rehabilitation is not the intended goal. Thank you for the positive affirmation. I always appreciate your feedback.

  5. June 5, 2008 at 4:22 am

    I went to bed hungry every night. That had never happened to me before. If I closed my eyes long enough, the visions of pizza pies and hamburgers would dwindle away until the morning…

    so sad.. 😥

  6. 6 lifeisacookie
    June 5, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Reach out — reach WAY out JP! Nick Hogan needs your inspirational words during this difficult, difficult time …

  7. 7 Manco
    June 5, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Who’s this Nick Hogan when he’s at home?

  8. 8 Taylor
    June 5, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    Screw Nick Hogan I hope he ROTS in jail. There are phone calls of him and his father trying to work out a reality show deal “life after prison” to capitalize on this whole debacle. SICK!

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Those are not Christian sentiments you are espousing Taylor. I am disappointed with you.

  9. 9 Taylor
    June 6, 2008 at 6:32 am

    screw that family. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk1TEfLeTKs

    Listen to Nick blame him for him being ‘negative’.

  10. 10 Taylor
    June 7, 2008 at 12:26 am

    An eye for an eye Peepers, sounds pretty Christian to me.

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Not really. Exodus is an old testament mythical allegory.

    You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”. But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:38–39)

    Maybe you missed that Sunday school lesson. But then again, you have missed many lessons.

  11. 11 Taylor
    June 7, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    all hail Peepers, he is so smart, can’t you all tell by his smug responses? Gotta love those who put themselves above all others.

  12. 12 Manco
    June 8, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Taylor: Peepers can be one smug son of a bitch, but that last response of his wasn’t smug, he just called out your extensive lack of knowledge about the religion that you chose to bring into the conversation. Dude, doesn’t it get tiring for you having your ass handed to you on a regular basis? Perhaps you would be better served by shutting up and reading and listening for a change. You never know, you might learn something.

  13. 13 Taylor
    June 9, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Macno and Peepers, you two demonstrate the height on ignorance on a daily basis, in that you both ALWAYS think you’re right. I suggest you learn to take your own advice before you dish it out.

  14. 14 Manco
    June 10, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    I am always right. Deal with it, shitball.

    Look, if you want to raise a subject, at least know what the hell you’re talking about before you raise it. If you don’t then you stand the chance of being called out. Don’t get angry with ME because YOU don’t know what you’re talking about. Fucking idiot.

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Do me a favor Mr. Manco. Sometimes my mom reads comments left on my blog if I get up to go #2 or I am in the kitchen fixing a tofurkey sandwich. Some of the language you write on here is extremely objectionable. I am not sure how you were raised, but I don’t think you were taught to use those words. Thanks in advance 🙂

  15. 15 Taylor
    June 10, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    How was I wrong Manco, do you not have a copy of the Bible? Oh and I guess I should take advice from a grown man who calls other men “shitball” on the internet. (laughing at you)

  16. June 11, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Life is so fucking for you..Lets hope for good things for ur rest of the life.I think a LADY LOVE can make ur life A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN..lets try man.

  17. June 11, 2008 at 7:03 pm


    I appreciate the overture lil’ darlin’, but let’s wait till I get my monthly court mandated blood test results back before we make any moves.

  18. 18 Taylor
    June 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Peepers, are you proud of your little character you have invented on this web page? The face, the ‘court ordered blood tests’? Come on, I don’t buy it.

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    I knew I wouldn’t be able to dupe the Mensa level Internet Colombos such as yourself Taylor. Do me a favor and don’t blow my cover though. Thanks.

  19. 19 Manco
    June 12, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Johnny: Motherfuck, shit, piss, goddamn, ball lick, dickhead, dumbass, shit sandwich, up your motherfucking tail pipe with an exacto-knife.

    A message to the oreo cookie: no matter how much you try to switch, here’s what they think of you – You gold-teeth, gold-chain-wearing, fried-chicken-and-biscuit-eating, monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast-running, high-jumping, spear-chucking, three-hundred-and-sixty-degree-basketball-dunking, titsoon, spade, moolanyan. Go the fuck back to Africa. Go the fuck back to Africa. Go the fuck back to Africa.

    Think about it….you fucking sellout

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Mr. Manco, I tried to be civil and cordial with my earlier request. Evidently, you have chosen to abuse me (and my mother) by flaunting your obscenity-laden vocabulary. You are a bitter and cruel little man. Just so you know, I will be reporting you to the Department of Homeland Security for espousing racially motivated hate language. You brought this on yourself.

  20. 20 Manco
    June 12, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Johnny: Who got to you? You’ve suddenly become very pro-government. Did you get a late-night visit? They know who you are. It’s very simple for them to get to you, change the wiring. I see them every day. They walk past us every single day, taking us in, stamping us out. Who got to you, Johnny? Come clean, you scummy little bastard…..

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Suffice it to say that I was persuaded to choose the path of least resistance. My chemical addictions, poor physical health, and dwindling mental condition were factors as well. I had a good run Manco, but now it is time to be the spectator. Steve McQueen summed it up succinctly in Le Mans:

    “A lot of people go through life doing things badly. Racing’s important to men who do it well. When you’re racing, it… it’s life. Anything that happens before or after… is just waiting.”

  21. 21 Taylor
    June 12, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    Manco are you over the age of 16? I am starting to think not.

  22. 22 Manco
    June 13, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Taylor: I am four year old. I was tree, but now I’m four year old.

  23. 23 Frank
    June 14, 2008 at 1:10 am

    Johnny, maybe you need to find a way of switching Mr. Manco off…….

    You have, it seems, turned out well after experiencing as much as you have. I think that is the most significant fact about you Johnny–let the rude try to tell you differently–I guess they have nothing better to do!!

    Take care–Frank

  24. June 14, 2008 at 5:30 am

    I appreciate your concern Frank. Although Manco may be a crumb bum, he ain’t a bad guy really – just a bit disillusioned with the World. I used to be stuck in the same pessismistic rut, so I can identify with his plight. Actually, Manco is a long-term project of mine. In due time, his volley of hateful barbs, insolent tantrums, and obscene tirades will crumble in the face of my love and brotherly guidance.

  25. 25 Manco
    June 14, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Johnny: I see the world as it truly exists. Your love and brotherly guidance is nice and fun and all that jazz, but it’s never going to unseat the truth of the matter. My pessimism extends only so far. My bigger beef is with those who are naive and brutally dishonest with themselves and the world around them. I do not suffer fools. Never, ever, will I crumble in the face of anything. I am an example of the coming days.

  26. 26 Taylor
    June 16, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Yea Peepers, Manco sees in the Matrix he is soooo much smarter than the rest of us. Why, because he can say the most cus words in a post to prove how his point is always right.

  27. 27 Manco
    June 16, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Taylor: I do not see one curse word in my comment (to Johnny, I might add, not you) above so I think you’re going to have to dig down a little deeper if you wish to make a point against me, which you continue to fail in your efforts to do so. Perhaps you should try to amuse yourself in another way. Maybe play a game of Chinese Checkers with yourself, or how about an exhilarating game of Russian Roulette? Shoot for the stars, Taylor!

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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