STDs, AIDS, and Abortion: Your Right to Know

As a follow up to Tommy Toilet’s helpful advice on proper bum cleaning techniques, this installment addresses the horrible afflictions that can result when your naughty bits are misused. The first four posters dealing with the scourge of syphillis and gonorrhea are from the 1940s.

This next batch addresses the dangers of a virus created by U.S. government scientists in the 1970s. A couple of thoughts on these. First, Indian broads have to be getting sick and damn tired of recreating all those circus freak Kama Sutra contortions. Also, Condoman’s sex advice recommendation to “be game” seems to promote the stereotype of the hyper-sexual Black man. What’s wrong with “be monogamous” or “be a faithful spouse.”

This one is just flippin’ hilarious. It deals with the clams. What exactly is this California clinic insinuating with the bi-racial prom pairing? Would daddy’s little princess not have gotten the clams from a roll in the limo with a lighter complected classmate of European-American extraction?

This one is from the Abortion Eve comic book that came out in 1973. You see, vacuum-powered fetal extraction had just become legal that year, and the girls needed a little help with their decision making. Blondie’s desperate attempt to invoke moral judgment on the issue of infanticide is laughable these days (40 million bio-hazard bags can’t be wrong).

Abstinence is the safest route if you want to be healthy, clean, and suitable marriage material. But, if you got to get down, wrap your meat tight and use a dental dam. Don’t be stupid folks!

17 Responses to “STDs, AIDS, and Abortion: Your Right to Know”

  1. 1 sexmahoney
    July 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Abstinence? That’s just crazy. Sex is a basic human need, like breathing; and sure, while I could prevent most common airborne diseases by holding my breath, that would kill me.

    Sex Mahoney for President

  2. 2 c
    July 1, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Responsibility cannot be legislated.
    Morality tends to be subjective.

    i say recommend abstinence and recommend condoms.

    Regarding the posters-
    funny that women and minorities are all to blame for the spread of disease.
    How many women contract diseases from their husbands?

  3. 3 Frank
    July 1, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Johnny, your research and imagery (I assume at some point you looked and found them) are to be applauded. I’m not sure if they need narration, but I suppose some people need to told. I don’t see you recommending anything more than to be “smart” and think. Hmmm, hard for some to do.

    I think there should have been someone like you around when I was the age to really need to read this. Now I have become safely stupid after 34 years with one person. Thats a long story johnny-I’ll write it to you someday!

    Haven’t been around to much lately but hope I am able to return without too much bothering me for awhile.
    Take Care, Frank

  4. July 1, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    SEXMAHONEY: I am sure abstinence does sound silly to a bloke with the words sex in his online handle. Emitting seed (voluntarily or involuntarily) is a human need for males (I am not so sure about the womenfolk). This does not require coitus. You can alleviate sexual urges by dropping jizz bombs on Kleenex, the carpet, or in the shower. A partner is not a necessity.

    C: Agreed, agreed, agreed. Thank you for pointing out the gender bias in the posters, it slipped right past me. The women are depicted as the sinful enticers (think: Eve) attempting to corrupt the brave young American soldier fighting to save his countrymen from the Nazi scourge. As to your other point, married women are the silent victims caught in a double bind situation.

    FRANK: I am glad you dug the posters. Asking folks to be smart these days is like tinkling in the wind, but I try anyways. I am sure you got some war stories Frankie. Check in anytime, we’ll leave a light on for you.

  5. 5 margotmarrakesh
    July 3, 2008 at 4:18 am

    I thought these were pretty neat posters, too.

    Margot in Marrakesh

  6. July 5, 2008 at 8:22 am

    Excellent observation Johnny! Great post as usual but I am not sure if abstinence is the realistic solution, it may appear to be an attractive idea on paper but when it comes to the real world of teens, in fact adults for that matter with out of control hormones, it could be a difficult task to accomplish.

    Be well my friend!

  7. July 6, 2008 at 5:14 pm


    The cure shown in the first poster seems brutal, and I question whether stomping on syphilis and gonorrhea would even work.

  8. July 6, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    MC: Glad you back in action holmes, I was worried about ya for a minute. Dig though, you right. Kids is gonna do what kids is gonna do. I ain’t trying to jump on no Baptist fundamental bandwagon talking about keeping your shit in yo drawers. I know better than that. I’m talking about mofos abstaining from sticking their shit in tainted junk. Now that you can help.

    NL: I think the Orwellian cyborg said stamp the shit out, but what’s the difference, right? Maybe if that cyborg muthafucka took to stompin’ on infected balls and clits, peeps would think twice about utilizing them so freely. The Ministry of Love indeed.

  9. July 7, 2008 at 10:31 pm


    You’re right, as usual–it does say “stamp,” not “stomp.” My bad. But don’t they kind of mean the same thing? Like, for example, do you stamp out a fire or stomp it out? Thinking about it kind of drives me crazy! Like you already said, “What’s the difference?” Hey, I guess I kind of answered my own question–with your help.


    Keep up the good work. I’ll be watchin’!

  10. 10 Dougie Nugget
    July 8, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    I stomp mudholes in bitches with that poison running through them. Sure, they need to remember their place – on their knees – but they need to check themselves if they wind up with stank cooter. It ain’t worth wrecking a brother’s junk.

    Hey, Peepers: why don’t you stop telling people how to live, bitch ass. If people wanna fuck and suck like good Catholics, that’s they own damn bidness. Stay the fuck out of my bedroom, back of my car, alleyways, public bathrooms and shower stalls. Mind-warped little prick always telling other peeps how they need to handle theirs. Not once looking after his own bug-eyed shit.

    Sorry to come back with a vengeance Peeps but I don’t like no preacher men. Plus, I just did a solid couple of months in the County. I’m ready to kill a man.

  11. July 9, 2008 at 12:50 am

    I am impressed Douglas. Mudhole bitch stomping is a long forgotten art from, I commend you sir. Stank cooter is a dastardly occurrence and should be forcibly eradicated by any available means.

    With regards to your disapproving view of my assertions, you are duly advised to fuck off. I am not dictating your backseat hooptie methods you insolent twerp. I am merely positing my viewpoint on the by-product of excess bumping ugly behavioral consequences.

    I ain’t no preacher man Dougie. I am a tainted shit-stained human vessel that doesn’t deserve another day above ground. I know the past couple of months have been rough so I ain’t gonna front on you too hard. You are a good guy Dougie, me and your momma know this.

  12. 12 Dougie Nugget
    July 9, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Slow your roll, Peeper Man. It ain’t wise to tap the buttons of an angry man in the grip of a psycho jones. Waking at 3, looking outside, brother’s trying to steal my fly ride. I said, hold it, son, hold it, son then I go crazy with my sawed-off shotgun. Dropping bitch niggas yo two at a time my mind on fire from too many lines. I can’t sleep until my enemies are six feet under, blood on my hands and my voice like thunder. Ow, Ow, don’t give me a reason, yo. Ow, Ow, this shit’s getting crazy, yo.

  13. July 9, 2008 at 8:05 pm


    Yesterday’s near-perfectly written post of yours hit me hard in the heart and brain. Today’s are solid but don’t seem sincere. Make ’em count, man!

  14. 14 Dougie Nugget
    July 9, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    Newslamp, I ain’t here to make you happy. What you think I’m just another boy you can order around the plantation? Yo, you better step off before I slice and dice your ass. Shit.

  15. July 10, 2008 at 8:01 am


    That’s more like it!

  16. July 10, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    “Don’t be Shame, Be Game”

    That makes ZERO sense. I think condom man needs to retake English 101.

  17. July 10, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    Cool – retro preventive/informative. I like it! Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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