Courthouse Confessions

There is a flippin’ sweet website that I read about called Courthouse Confessions. Steven Hirsch, a photojournalist, interviews cats on their way out of the courthouse. He posts a picture of the defendant, and a narrative of the events (in their own words), leading up to, and following, their arrest. I can sympathize with this fella’s plight.

My name is Mark Mark Mark. I was walking down Ludlow Street and uh I guess a Police Officer who I’ve had interactions actions with in the past spotted me and followed me about four or five blocks, uh watched me take a pee in an alley in some garbage, in the rain and then followed me another two blocks and then put handcuffs on me and then took me to jail for which I spent twenty hours in a holding cell.

Twenty hours in a thirty man cell, it’s freezing cold for taking a pee when there’s no public restrooms available is pretty bogus. I think if you’re going to arrest someone for having to go to the bathroom you should maybe provide public toilets. I’m from San Francisco, they have pay toilets there at least on the street. There’s no business that will open their restrooms to non paying customers. So if I don’t have five dollars to buy a sandwich and I have to go to the bathroom I guess that means I’m going to go jail.

I was going to say I watched my urine get washed away in the rain as my handcuffs were being put on me, it’s pretty ironic, you know. my crime was erased and I was going to jail for a few hours, twenty hours. A dog can take a pee and I can’t. I guess they have more rights then I do. Right. I’m watching a cop ride a horse taking a dump that I got to ride over on my bicycle and I can’t take a piss on a pile of trash. You know. Fuck.

The homeless in NYC are pretty much SOL when it comes answering nature’s call. I reckon that is why a lot of those cats make water in their britches – to avoid incarceration. Mark Mark Mark has a point about the copper’s horses though.

Please don’t forget the homeless – Mad DC Cabbie

8 Responses to “Courthouse Confessions”

  1. 1 c
    August 9, 2008 at 12:13 am

    There was another dude arrested for urinating in public.
    Wow. That spot was enthralling, i have to say.

  2. August 9, 2008 at 6:07 am

    I say fuck that. Take a shit wherever you like, just don’t forget to bag it.

    Sex Mahoney for President

  3. 3 expertech
    August 9, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Just remember, Johnny..when dude ends up in jail, YOUR tax dollars are paying for it.

  4. August 13, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Excellent post Peeps. It is ironic that dog’s have more rights than we do; especially when were in dire straights. Love your new look. Peace, Light and Love, CordieB

  5. 5 dummidumbwit
    August 14, 2008 at 11:13 am

    That’s awful, having a booze weakend bladder myself I know, when you gotta go you gotta go. They had some vandalism incident in a University building across from the downtown bus stop and I used it and had to show an ID to the University rent a cop in my town!!! Fascist, or maybe I really do look like a menace to society?

  6. August 14, 2008 at 11:57 am

    I live in Toronto, Canada where public toilets will soon become part of the urban landscape.

    The toilets will cost $1.00 to use, and each stall will automatically sterilize its own floors, sinks and toilets after you’re done.

    They’re part of an advertising campaign by Astral Media, who will supply Toronto with $1 billion worth of “street furniture” over the next 20 years.

    Seattle tried this, but it didn’t work out for them. They bought five automated toilets for one million US dollars each, but the public didn’t have to pay to use them. And used they were: for drug dealing and prostitution. So Seattle opted out of its toilet contract early and sold the toilets on eBay for $90,000.00 apiece.

    But Toronto’s city planning manager believes the one dollar charge will actually deter drug dealers and prostitutes. But, if that doesn’t work, apparently the toilets automatically call security if you’ve been in there longer than 15 minutes!

    It’s so true that dogs and cop’s horses have more rights than humans when it comes to relieving themselves. We have a “poop and scoop” law here, so you can be fined if you don’t pick up after your pet. But the law doesn’t apply to the cops, whose horses are free to shit all over our city.

  7. August 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    c: Yeah, there are a lot of interesting stories on that site. I dig the brutal honesty of those caught up in the punishing gears of the (in)justice system.

    Sex Mahoney: As always, thanks for sharing.

    expertech: Nope, I am unemployed and don’t pay taxes. Will you cover my share?

    cordieb: Thanks, I am glad you like the new look. The homeless get punked every which way they turn. I think that those cats should be able to do their business in the park, as long as they do not violate public indecency laws.

    dd: Screw them punks.

    Anita: That plan sounds like an absolute bust. The cats that need it most don’t have a buck to spare. Those public toilets are a boondoggle sponsored by city councils and their toilet mfg./marketing cronies.

    I went in one of those big scary boxes one day and it was absolutely disgusting. The toilet was clogged and the floor was flooded with water, urine, and I shudder to think what else. Performing a cleaning cycle after every use is incredibly wasteful from a water and energy conservation standpoint. Also, the 10/15 minute timer allows plenty time for drug taking and sexual escapades.

    Basically, public toilets suffer from the economics “tragedy of the commons” maxim. No one is responsible, so no one cares.

  8. August 17, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    I like how Mark points out that he peed in the garbage and it was raining at the time. No harm, no foul. I went to Cusco and the streets smelled like pee. Now the smell of pee mixed with garbage can trigger strange memories for me.

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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