“Oh… My God…” No Wonder They Call it Big Bubba!


The above image was taken from a brochure that was mailed to my old man. He is getting up there in years and has been stricken with a horrendous case of erectile dysfunction (soft dick syndrome). Unfortunately, he is also an easy mark who falls prey to every two-bit con artist hustler on the idiot box who promises a rock hard meat stick and the stamina of our most beloved male pornographic performers. As a result, he has ordered quite a few sexual enhancement products over the years and is on dozens of mailing lists.

Every so often I have to urge him to return these products before the trial period expires so he can get his money back from the cons and the hucksters. I explained to him that male virility (and the blood engorged impaler) fulfills the biological necessity of procreation, and is not a tool for the sinful self-abuse of seniors. I pray every night to the Blessed Mother Virgin Mary teet-suckling baby Jesus that he will permanently reject these Luciferean pills, lotions, and erotic devices, seek eternal forgiveness for his corporeal sins, and bathe in the blood of the lamb.


7 Responses to ““Oh… My God…” No Wonder They Call it Big Bubba!”

  1. December 1, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    The picture is hilarious. Hehehheheheeheehhehe…

    Anyways, why dont you proposed to your dad to go for a medical check up. Who knows if they have better solution to cure it? Heheheheheh

    How old is he btw?

  2. December 2, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    He doesn’t need a fricken’ medical solution – he needs to retire the junk for good. The bloke is in his 70’s for crikey’s sake. The Most High, Yahweh, God, He Who Must Not Be Named, The Mystery, The Monad, and Allah (among others) endowed us with erections and lubricating vaginas for one reason – procreation. The spilling of seed on the ground is a capital offense to the Creator.

  3. 3 Manco
    December 3, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Procreation is for suckers. I say if a bloke wants to tap that ass into his seventies, then let the old man be happy. Shit, growing old is hard enough without depriving peeps of the simple pleasures.

    And you call yourself compassionate, Peepers? I think you need to forget the God nonsense where it concerns other peoples lives.

  4. 4 dummidumbwit
    December 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm


    I’ve heard too many guy’s with elephant dicks complaining about the holes they gotta put it in to listen to that crap

  5. December 5, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Peeps, I’ve heard you say this many times. But I must emplore; where the heck in the bible does it say that sex for humans is only to be used for Procreation. Damn Peeps, I would have had to have intercourse 3 times and stop if I followed this one. I can’t imagine my God being so cruel that he’d give me desires for which I can not fulfill for fear of overpopulating the earth. Besides, I’d bet my last nipple that the verse and chapter you speak of was written by some old man like Moses, perhaps. These men live an awful long time in the Bible – imagine how long they may have lived after they had lost their ability to get it up – surely they would have said this! “If I can’t do it, no body can! That’s the Law” I say, let dear old dad worry about his own soul and judge ye not!

    Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB

  6. 6 Manco
    December 6, 2008 at 1:03 am

    Cordieb: Anytime anywhere, beautiful.

  7. December 14, 2008 at 3:36 am

    Manco: Maybe you are right Manco. I should let my old man have his fun while he has the chance. I do need to check my religious proselytizing as it is creating a lot of unnecessary drama in my life.

    cordieb: I made that shit up about a Biblical mandate for procreation only sex. It is probably a by-product of my early Christian indoctrination sessions in Sunday school. That bit about the Old Testament dude having to die because he spilled his seed on the ground is funny when you think about it. I know I lost a rent deposit for that shit once.

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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