Bukowski Was A Shit Heel and So Am I (Thank יהוה )


Although I  got mad respect for my cultural heros, I suffer no delusions about their abhorrent personal behaviors. In seems that in order to channel true genius one must engage in a persistent battle with the shadow self. Admittedly, dope fiends, drunkards, child molesters, woman beaters,  and ontological misfits have been my lifelong idols. One can embrace the artist while loathing the cretin who occupies the physical form/body chamber host.

I thank baby Jesus every day that I did not follow the intended control system child development blueprint model.  My parental handlers worked tirelessly to imprint their authoritarian dictatorship model on my head space clay.  The organized religion guilt mafia tried they hardest to lay the mythical/solar godman/redeemed savior trip on me. The state worked in endless shifts to manufacture the unquestioning obedient  Über-child citizen with forced allegiance to the flag, a hand over the heart, and a meaningless recital of jingoistic nationalism gutter poetry. Nice try fuckers and a better luck next go round.

Integrating the shadow requires that one acknowledges and embraces the dark side of the  human experience. Evil, hate, envy, chaos, disintegration, and moral discombobulation are a necessary experience in the roller coaster ride known as life. The ejaculatory advocate of the perpetual pure heart, the effusive light warrioress/warrior, and the grinning mug eternal optimist have got something to hide. Refusing to embark on a periodic dark night of the soul journey is a form of self-sabotage that may result in maniacal blood-soaked violence at the most inopportune time.

Here is Charles Bukowski at his absolute worst.

4 Responses to “Bukowski Was A Shit Heel and So Am I (Thank יהוה )”

  1. 1 dummidumbwit
    March 28, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Acts of sudden random violence often do restore peace and tranquility on the domestic front for awhile till u get another one, then repeat the process?? I’ve found that just primal screaming, w/o any actual words or physical action often achieves the same affect w/o the risk of getting locked up or god forbid she actually whups me (which is OK as long as I can make babies still after I get whupped? But my Dominance/Submissive roles can be reversed if the other party is cute enough. I though I detected a tad of that angle in the Palin post, which is it or is it variable and situational for you as well? But then there’s the one that figures me out and tells everyone to just let him scream then you have to move out of your house and re-strategize, or sneak in when she’s gone and change the locks.

  2. April 13, 2009 at 11:56 am

    As humans, we all have potential to inflict dire harm unto others and the capacity to inflict extreme joy. The gift of free will allows us countless choices each moment we walk. Most of us choose our paths based upon our experiences and fears. If we can imagine our slate wiped completely clean from past events, which will in effect make us fearless of any future event, then choose either compassion or ego. . . perhaps we might find truth. Although we must acknowledge pain and suffering as a part of life, I would not recommend embracing such. . . as the dark side is often hard to come out of once we’ve stepped into it’s grasp – it is a fallacy that imitates truth in genious manner; so cunning we might loose sight of our real truths. I know of no other being that inflicts self pain…yet we consider ourselves to be evolved. If the pain has no gain, than it is nothing more than destruction, opposite of creation. I would hope that we choose choices, even those that are painful, in promoting creation. All other painful choices should be left in the subconscious mind to perhaps be blanked with creative choice.

    PLL, C.

  3. 3 dummidumbwit
    April 15, 2009 at 7:44 am

    A well written comment, wiping the slate clean has definite advantages. Art, Music and literature are part of the human experience and reflect both joy and despair.Therapy destroyed Axel Rose, it’s a fine balance indeed? Self awareness would seem to be the key, to see darker influences and understand where they came from and why they affect a person might allow them to be harnessed in less self destructive ways and prevent being consumed and turning over to the darker elements entirely.How to experience the stark beauty of sadness without descending to the less manageable regions of despair? Hell maybe Axel Rose is happier now but I liked Guns and Roses when they screamed from the abyss, but I backed away from the abyss myself.

  4. April 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Cordieb: I love you, but you give the human race too much credit. It’s really not that special. As insignificant a speck as they come. Coming to that realization will set you free. No longer will you be burdened by humanity’s survival because you will understand that there’s nothing special about humanity. Like so many organisms before, it serves its place in the time it was allotted, but it neither deserves to be saved or destroyed. Like the old song goes: “Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que Sera, Sera.”

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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