Dirty Limericks

There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis
and woke up covered in goo

There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pigshit and snot.
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat

There was a young lady from the Azores
Whose box was all covered with sores
And the dogs in the street
Wouldn’t bark at the meat
Whick hung in festoons from her drawers

There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew
Oh, the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you

There was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it

Two lesbians north of the town
Made sixty-nine love on the ground
Their unbridled lust
Leaked out in the dust
And made so much mud that they drowned

I once knew a man from France

His hands played about in his pants

When he tickled his taint

He penis got spraint

And his nards did a quick little dance

There once was a Senator from Mass
Who wanted a strange piece of ass
He lucked up and found it
But fucked up and drowned it
And now his future is past

In the garden of Eden sat Adam,

Massaging the bust of his madam,

He chuckled with mirth,

For he knew that on earth,

There were only two boobs and he had ‘em