Project: Human Barrier Deconstruction IV

I am proud to announce another superb contribution to the Human Barrier Deconstruction project. Christine, the author of the cognition-provoking blog, all the elbows, was kind enough to posit her thoughts for my loosely defined initiative.

I consider myself fortunate that Christine and I crossed Internet paths. She has a delicately poised light and darkness composition that mirrors my Earthly experience. I consider Christine a fellow universal consciousness enlightening traveler. This is from her blog:

i want to be a ballerina pointy toed graceful
perky ones maybe an astronaut into the sky
burrow up find God president of the united
states no more war everyone eats and has a
a doctor? save lives cure rickets a
poison minds a model ugly will be
the new beatiful
i will be beautiful in my ugly
a mother mutha fucker patient and kind
cookies always on hand and a lacy apron
a soldier buffalo soldier soldier of P E A C E a
good friend
happy wife i’ll have a garden filled
with taller than usual snapdragons and violas
bumble bees ladybugs holy virgin clean sky
sky sky blue and so on

when i grow up-

Here is Christine’s contribution to the project:

When Johnny Peepers began Operation Human Barrier Deconstruction, i was very excited. Those who’ve contributed thus far have impressed me greatly and i secretly wondered how i could contribute. When he asked me i was excited- and arrogant.

i thought i would be able to whip something out quick and easy, as i have many thoughts about how screwed up and senseless the world can be. i thought, thought, thought, but each time i attempted to write something, i froze up.

The thing is, i was- am- distrustful of people. i fear them, the many ways i can hurt them, ways they may hurt me. That is my human barrier. And i am thinking that perhaps many people in this world operate from distrust.

i think, try to believe and practice, the idea of folks as individuals. i like to think that i take people one at a time, doling out benefit of the doubt. i bumped into this while trying to come up with something good, worthwhile, meaningful for Johnny. i’m thinking maybe i don’t practice this as much as i’d hoped.

So all that’s led me to this- in order for me to connect with people on a human level, beyond skin or genitals, appearance or status, sexuality or location- i must set aside fear. i must take a chance and trust. i have to make a conscious effort to find all that is common amongst us, what unites us, what we all share.

Ruminating, i found and discarded many things. i attempted to be positive. Laughter, i thought. All people cherish laughter, but then i thought of people who live in constant fear of being bombed, losing their sons and daughters, people not knowing when their next meal will be. Folks in such circumstances might not be interested in laughing. i thought hope is something all people share, but hope has become a cliché to many, a joke, some lofty, far off la-la-land kind of sentiment so many’ve lived without it. God? Yeah right. People kill one another in the name of this god or that god.

i wanted something universal. And i was brought back to the idea of fear. i know that sounds totally negative and in direct opposition to the purpose of Johnny’s mission. i thought so too, at first. Fear motivates humans to do unspeakable things, to hide, hurt, maim. But think about it a little more, and though it is sad, it is something we’ve all experienced- everyone of us- and it is something we can help one another through. Realizing that we all experience this may, if we allow it, may arouse in us compassion, empathy and understanding.

The need to be loved and understood also unite us as humans. Even when some of us do terrible things, there is a longing to be known, understood. Knowing that many are afraid of being hurt and making an effort to reach out, to understand, to learn others, can change the world i think, can melt away the fear.

i wish that, pray that; hope for a world in which we could go beyond the superficial, below the skin, over the borders, through the miasma of propaganda to the marrow, the rich valleys, to the clear sky of human spirit and freedom. True freedom- a desire in which we are also united. Not license, but freedom.

Gosh. This sounds so good to me. i can almost taste it. How though? How? i begin with me and you. i’ve revealed my mediocrity of thought, my fairytale idea- my dark fairytale. It probably sounds stupid. i’m afraid of doing Operation Human Barrier Deconstruction a disservice, but i take this chance because what unites us and what i wish to unite us are different. i wish peace to connect us. i wish that love did.

(copyright 2008 ) c A Hughes

18 Responses to “Project: Human Barrier Deconstruction IV”

  1. May 29, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    The first time I saw Johnny’s avatar (I think it was at whorechurch) I was afraid. Then I slowly realized that he was a neat person. So that taught me a lot. Thanks for contributing this post to the project, Christine! 🙂

  2. 2 c
    May 31, 2008 at 1:32 am

    When i saw the name Johnny Peepers, i was done.
    i would be here if all he posted were his grocery lists.

    But he doesn’t.

    He does so much more with thought and word and i am so grateful.

  3. May 31, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Love can unite – but free love is impossible while there is fear. Try letting the fear loose – become fearless!!! Start with becoming fearless, if you can for a moment or two out of the day. Fears draw fearful experiences into existence. Stop feeding the fear one moment at a time. But, from reading your most insightful words – I think you already know that! Thanks, Christine, for sharing a bit of yourself with me today. As for Peeps – his face wouldn’t scare me even if it is real; because I “see” and “feel” the beautiful spirit within the shell; although I find his shell to be quite sexy (I’v nominated his avatar pic for People’s most beautiful people; I haven’t heard a word back as of yet. I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted.

    Peace, Light and Love,

  4. 4 Manco
    May 31, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Cordieb: Please do not take my words as an attack, but your rampant use of the positive is a bit heavy-handed, and, dare I say it, disingenuous. I love peace and light, but don’t you believe that there is a necessary space that should be left open for darkness? The darkness is there for the sake of light. Without darkness how could you identify the light?

    There is much beauty to be seen in the shadows as well, perhaps more so since light is oftentimes blinding.

    I like Christine’s writing above because it feels honest and uncertain. I like that it incorporates her fear and darkness as much as it does her peace and light. I think peace is a personal construct, something subjective. This idea of absolute peace and love falling upon the earth is a fantasy, and one that can’t happen unless you wish to see the end of all existence for you can’t have one without the other and expect everything to keep turning.

  5. May 31, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    @Manco. So very true. I often see darkness in my experiences; I experience darkness as we speak. I embrace both – I simply did not write about the darkness above – for I know darkness passes, as well as light. We become stronger when we learn to endure and embrace all. Sometimes in our darkest moments – positive reflections simply get on our nerves – sometimes it’s just what is needed. Peace, Light, Love, Hate, Turmoil, and Darkness, to you and yours. . .

  6. June 1, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    fightingwindmills: Thanks for the compliment. I think you are a neat (individualistic) person too.

    c: You are too kind Christine. I have great respect for your intensely focused human nature insight and writing ability.

    cordieb: I hope you are joking about JP’s mug being sexy. But if you are not that is cool – jacked mug jokers need love too 🙂

  7. 7 c
    June 2, 2008 at 12:00 am

    i think the avatar, coupled with your writing, has a very honest, and almost primal, appeal.
    Something about their juxtaposition is beautiful because the truth is brutal and people are so hungry for truth.

  8. 8 Manco
    June 2, 2008 at 12:40 am

    That or Cordieb was tripping balls when she wrote that. No offense, Johnny, but there’s nothing redeeming about your mug. You make Lyle Lovett look like Prince Charming.

    C: Be honest, you want to give Peepers a happy ending. His primal, base nature has ensnared you in its slime-ridden tentacles. It has to be something like that because I haven’t seen anyone kiss as much ass as you’ve been doing lately.

    What is the truth about Peeper’s face? There’s nothing honest in that face. Where do you think those scratches came from? It is a face borne from dishonesty. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading Peepers, but can we get over this ugliness=truth bullshit. Some times things are just ugly, either by chance or due to one’s own actions. There’s no truth or beauty in a polluted lake.
    95% of ugliness comes from within. You ever seen a person detoxing? Do you see what it does to their skin and outward appearance? It’s all the ugliness and shit rising to the surface. Think about it.

    No offense to anyone, I mean it. I just don’t like pretentiousness. I rail against it in all of its manifest forms. I want to jam it into a box, seal it shut and sink it to the lowest possible depth. Can you dig that?
    One thing I like about Peepers, he avoids being pretentious. He almost seems as if he loathes it. I like that in a person, and that’s why I check in to read his work.
    I’ll probably be criticized heavily, but that’s the way I feel. Sue me.

  9. 9 c
    June 2, 2008 at 1:20 am

    i am hurt by the disrespect. i have my opinion. You can disagree without taking shots at my inegrity, i’d hope.

    i never said that everything ugly is truth.
    i have seen ugliness.
    Obviously, it is all around.

    And expressing something i feel is not ass kissing.

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    Please do not sweat manco. He is the little pesky mosquito that only wants a taste of your blood. The only response he warrants is a well-directed swat of the palm.

  10. June 2, 2008 at 11:50 am

    @Peeps. yeah I was joking – but i’ve never seen an avatar cause such discussion in all my days. An avatar for Peeps sake! Who woulda thought . . .

    Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

  11. 11 c
    June 2, 2008 at 12:20 pm


    i feel like a butthole.
    A stupid, stupid ass.

    i really am gullible. And pretentious- my nightmare.

    Anyway, i’ll always read but i think i’d do well to shut up in the comments.

  12. June 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    @C. Your writing was wonderful. I’m so glad you shared a bit of yourself with us, as I said earlier. But, you really gotta have thick skin to comment on Peep’s blog. Peep’s blog is not for the timid minded or faint at heart. I’ve read far worst comments to my comments here – I’ve even had a commenter follow me to my own blog to leave a hideous comment. Let alone one joker linked me to a beastiality site (the guys had a real good laugh on that one I bet- I did too after I cooled off a bit) ROFL. I do hope that you wont let other’s opinion stop you from sharing your experiences and thoughts – that is after all what blogging is about. We all have opinions, some times different, but there is merit in them all. So, I’m hoping this experience won’t really keep you from commenting – your opinions are very interesting.

    Peace, Light and Love to you and yours dear C.

  13. 13 Manco
    June 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    C: I would like to apologize for my comments above. I had a bad Java Juice experience and the day only got worse from there. I’m afraid my comments were the result of a stressful day and do not seriously reflect my views of you or yours. I will always man up when I make a mistake or am wrong, and now is no exception. Unlike others who visit this blog (Taylor), you seem to have a perspective on things. That perspective had no right to be attacked by my heavy hand.

    It was just a bad day. There was the Java Juice experience, my toilet backed up, one of my potential mating prospects felt I couldn’t commit and broke it off, my car ran out of windshield washing fluid, my next door neighbor – a belligerent redneck named Hyde – won the lottery and I was kept awake all night by the crank-fueled celebration he was having with skanks and dipshits, and to top it all off, I lost my favorite pen. Yeah, to some, it’s just a pen. But to me it had a very special emotional significance. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but this married woman I used to provide marital escape to gave it to me as a gift. She died in a car accident so it’s all I have to remember her by…well, except for a lock of her hair that I cut off one night while she was sleeping. I’m getting away from the point…..

    Anyway, I didn’t mean to insult you. Please continue posting comments to Johnny’s blog. After all, he needs the encouragement people like you give to him. If it should cease, I shudder to think what the poor kid might do to himself or others.

    Take care,
    Tobias D. Manco

  14. June 3, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    c: I want to echo the sentiments of cordieb. I value your contributions (comments and posts) very highly. Unfortunately, this medium does not allow for inflection, body language, or sarcasm to travel along with the comment. Please do not let this exchange stop you from voicing your opinion.

  15. 15 Taylor
    June 3, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    That’s not really a picture of Johnny Peeps folks, calm down.

  16. 16 Manco
    June 4, 2008 at 12:04 am

    And who is it, Taylor? You seem to know something we don’t. Please share.

  17. 17 Taylor
    June 4, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    I just know what type of person peepers is via his writings. He probably took joy searching for an appropriate mug to use here.

  18. 18 Manco
    June 4, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    I see no reason for Peepers to hide his identity. I know what type of person he is as well, and that mug fits him. He’s a scarred, degenerate little monkey. Hate to burst your bubble, Taylor, but Peepers is that fucked.

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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.


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