18
Mar
09

Coitus Reservatus

coitusCoitus Reservatus – Latin for jizz preservation during a gut pummeling expedition.

I dunno who came up with the idea, but to each his own. Muthafuckas get their kicks (or don’t) in a myriad of ways it seems. I know the chicks probably dig the Gordon Sumner-esque lothario who can generate multiple O’s with his Tantric sex magick shenanigans, but I got to trigger the Mount Dicksuvius white lava flow in order to call it a successful night.

from Wikipedia:

The primary purpose of karezza (seed denial) is the maintenance, and indeed, intensification of desire and enjoyment of sexual pleasure within the context of long-term relationships. According to Dr. Stockham, it takes from two weeks to a month for the body to recover from ejaculation …”Unless procreation is desired, let the final propagative orgasm be entirely avoided”. If ejaculation is experienced more frequently, the effect is to ‘drain the basin’ before it has been replenished. This, in turn, induces feelings of irritation and rejection of the lover, as the body seeks to prevent further ejaculation.

There are some who believe there are negative effects to the practice as follows: coitus reservatus is not a reliable form of preventing STDs, as the penis leaks pre-cum, which may contain all of the same infectious viral particles and bacteria as semen. The method is also unreliable because of the difficulty of controlling ejaculation beyond the point of no return in over-reaching the orgasm. HEL231984Another difficulty of this method as a form of birth-control is that if the man begins to nut (before ejaculation proper begins), the muscles can tense tightly in the lower body, such as legs and buttocks, causing the removal of the penis to be difficult. This could cause some ejaculate to enter his partner.

The Oneida Community, founded in the nineteenth century by John Humphrey Noyes, experimented with coitus reservatus which was then called male continence in a religiously Christian Communist environment. The experiment lasted for about a quarter of a century and then Noyes went on to create Oneida silverware and establish the Oneida Silver Co.

parts

FEED ME!

According to B. Z. Goldberg, writing in The Sacred Fire, for the Jews “…the intentional loss of semen is an unpardonable sin.”

Prince Aly Khan, former vice president of the U.N. General Assembly representing Pakistan, married Rita Hayworth and was nicknamed “Santa Claus”, perhaps by Orson Welles, because he only came once a year.


14 Responses to “Coitus Reservatus”


  1. March 18, 2009 at 5:10 am

    Haha dude some funny stuff right there!

  2. 2 Manco
    March 19, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Instead of learning how to fuck longer [Why can’t anything ever be good enough in this goddamn world. Now we need to fuck longer? Feeling good some of the time simply isn’t good enough. Now I need to fuck longer. Doesn’t matter that my cock’s been erect for 72 hours. I’m sure that’s perfectly natural], why don’t people brush up on the use of birth control. Jiminy Fucking Crickets, there’s too many people in this goddamn world.

    Look at that old mangled slut who had the eight mongoloids. What the fuck? Does anyone expect these fucking lepers to contribute to society being raised in that environment by a media hound seeking a 16 minute of fame?

    If you can’t get a jimmy hat or some other form of birth control, pull that shit out and skeet on the wall, assholes. The expense of the Kleenex and small amount of warm water beats the expense of having a screaming, snotty bastard running around.

    I hope I live long enough to see the follies of humanity come back to bite them in the ass.

  3. 3 dummidumbwit
    March 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm


    I Heard That!!!

  4. 4 Manco
    March 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Dumfuck: Are you out of your mind? Bachmann looks like a corpse. Stick a candle in the back of her mouth and she can be a jack o’ lantern next Halloween.

  5. 5 KL
    March 23, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Why Johnny doesn’t remove you from perpetually berating the other commenters on this blog is beyond me. If you don’t like someone, that’s fine, but continually abusing someone with terms like dumfuck and dumass is a serious issue, more for you than the person they’re directed to. Entire studies have been dedicated to the problem of bullying. Rationalize however you’d like, but you are a bully.

  6. 6 dummidumbwit
    March 23, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    I can’t get used to the idea of Tobias being a real living person with a picture avatar, I always thought he was more like a lingering malevolent spirit or a festering flatulent odor than a sentient being? However I will not defend Bachmann, not until she gets off the pulpit and stops sermonizing for the hard right.

  7. 7 Manco
    March 24, 2009 at 9:43 am

    KL: What personal favors did Dummi provide for you to stand up for him?

    First of all, I think you’re taking this way too seriously. That’s A. B) I call it like I see it, KL. You may not appreciate my form of expression, but at least I’m consistent.

    And, furthermore, these are just fucking words. Words. That’s why Johnny allows me to post, because I am simply nothing more than words. As long as my words are not calling for physical harm to a person or group of people, what threat do they really possess? Get off your high horse, please. Thank you.

  8. 8 Manco
    March 24, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Dumsack: I am all of those things and more.

  9. 9 dummidumbwit
    March 24, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    In some ways it’s healthy to hoot and holler in comments, and sometimes it is fun and funny. The post is the real issue on a blog, the comment environment is often not the real meat and potatoes. The shouting head culture on TV is annoying obnoxious yet it sell so they do it.The Lincoln Douglas debate was two separate speeches with no point counterpoint on the personal level, I liked crossfire but the noise level went up and I really don’t know if anybody gets anywhere in that kind of debate format. Aw Shucks Jimmy, there you go again, so what really got accomplished other than Carter looking too stressed and almost 2 decades of Reaganomics due to Carter getting pissed off and not wining the homestyle good old boy contest? It wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t fight, it would be Johnny censoring so there it is, why not it’s a cyber environment, nobody’s really getting hurt. Sickeningly wishy washy middle of the road ain’t I, and I actually kind of liked the Jack o Lantern concept anyway, it was funny.

  10. March 25, 2009 at 6:53 am

    dd: Whenever I read one of your comments I am reminded of what the United Negros at the College Fund used to say, “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.” There are numerous ongoing R&D drug projects that may create a chemical savior for your mind. In the mean time, stay away from kids and tapioca pudding.

  11. 11 dummidumbwit
    March 25, 2009 at 11:03 am

    And how could Johnny censor hostile zingers when they are his favorite anyway, It would ruin the place. I just try saving what murderous rage I have for ex-boyfriends of whomever the hell is living in my house and the crackhead that thinks he’s crazier than I am and try’s to sticks me up? not much luck there cause I look crazier than I am or sound and I have accepted that killing an AIG executive would put me inna clink? The real dangerous ones aren’t the ones that foam at the mouth, but the ones they send after the ones that foam at the mouth. Down here on the farn, we either do it right or we don’t do it So if I can’t make sense in comments I don’t try, wrap that in foil and smoke it!!!

  12. 12 Manco
    March 25, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Peepers: Amen

  13. 13 dummidumbwit
    March 25, 2009 at 11:23 am

    And besides, Rachel Maddow’s Grandmother is all over TV promoting the healthy benefits of eating cultured spores and other verminous bacilli and and she’s even kinda cute like Rachel, but what’s with the hair and if I eat that shit will I turn into a lefty commie too and ur worried about tapioca pudding!!!


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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.

a

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