During his speech at the recent White House Correspondents’ Dinner, President Obama uttered the following words:
The Jonas Brothers are here; they’re out there somewhere. Sasha and Malia are huge fans; but boys, don’t get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming. You think I’m joking?
It is shocking to me that the President of the United States would brazenly joke about liquidating our Nation’s greatest musical treasure. The Jonas Brothers are a gift from GOD (aka Disney) and all should cherish the sanctity of their precious lives. Their songs, especially “When You Look Me In The Eyes” and “Baby Bottle Pop Theme Song”, are revered anthems that comprise the soundtrack of the lives of countless struggling adolescents (and grown-ups like me) trying to make sense of an insane world.
One could infer from President Obama’s words that the Jonas Brothers are a loathsome band of child molesters (the First Children are both under the age of 12 and the youngest Jonas Brother is 17). Given that these men are quite obviously buggerers (their mere presence overpowering numerous gaydar installations), I seriously doubt the Jonas Brothers constitute the slightest sexual threat to females (of any age).
Mr. President, please preserve your remote-controlled instruments of wanton destruction for those more deserving than these musically-gifted choco-starfish afficionados (i.e., Muslim wedding party and funeral attendees, street market shoppers, non-combatants, women, children, and the occasional terrorist).