01
May
08

Detroit Mayor Sex Scandal: The Unredacted Pager Messages

Unless you live in Michigan, you may not be aware of the scandals that have nearly destroyed the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick. Here is his Myspace page. With the little I know about this guy, it baffles my mind that he is still in office.

Kwame has been a very naughty boy. He had a wild stripper party at the official Mayoral residence where he was being touched inappropriately by a sexual services provider. According to reports, his wife came home early, flipped the *blank* out, and started beating on Tamara Greene (AKA Strawberry), with a wooden object. Strawberry was murdered by a Detroit Police thug to quiet things down a bit.

There was also a little matter about a whistle-blower cover-up conspiracy and a text-messaging scandal. It seems that Kwame had a bit of trouble staying faithful to his wife. Under oath, the Mayor denied an ongoing affair with his then married chief of staff, Christine Beatty. Special K and Ms. B liked to communicate their lust for each other over city-owned pagers (Doh!). Charges are pending for both including: perjury, misconduct in office and obstruction of justice.

Johnnypeepers has obtained the unredacted transcripts of their love letters that were sent through the sky. If you do not like to put your nose in other people’s business, I suggest you direct your browser away from the rest of this post.

This is a text that Ms. Beatty’s then husband, Lou Beatty, sent to his wife desperately trying to rekindle the fire whose embers had already been snuffed out by Kwame (the overweight lover).

How is your day? It’s amazing how you can go out of town, come back refreshed and I immediately piss you off…, WRG socks, pan outsode, WRG paper towel. You had an attitude until KK [da Mayor] came over. Then you were smiling. Wish you smiled at me like that.

Evidently, Lou was not waxing and milking that thang properly. Of course, it is also possible that there was some sort of emotional detachment, I am not sure which. Suffice it to say that Lou had to usher forth his own seed during this time.

This next exchange involves Ms. Beatty pressuring Kwame to make her an honest woman. A heads up for the ladies – if a man is cheating on his old lady with you, expect the same treatment down the line. That bit of advice is free of charge.

Beatty to Mayor:

LOL! Nigga, I already claimed it! KCK 2012. You told me that you would be my boyfriend everyday until I was your wife. Are you renigging? [This word may be a neologism, I am not sure.]

Mayor to Beatty:

Hell no! Don’t start none. Won’t be none nigette! LOL [I suspect nigette may be a French term of endearment.]

This message bothered me a little bit. It is in response to Ms. Beatty telling the Mayor that her baby wanted to see him before they went to the dentist. One would assume that a man who is able to rise to the rank of Mayor of one of America’s largest cities would be able to discern between the use of the words “there” and “their.” I have been wrong before though.

Mayor to Beatty:

I enjoy that. I might be there stepdad one day.

This next communication really moved me. I believe that Ms. Beatty was falling deep in love with Kwame. In the next page, she is extolling all of the Mayor’s incredible virtues – especially his “love of family.” You know a broad is serious when she uses your full name.

Beatty to Mayor:

It is sometimes so amazing how much I love you. I can’t even describe most of the time how I feel inside when I think about you. You are an amazing man. Everything about you makes me love you. Your passion about life, your sense of humor, your presence [she likes em big], and your love of family. TBC

All those things and more make up the love of my life, Kwame Malik Kilpatrick. I have so much admiration and appreciation for you. You are like a dream [soon to be nightmare] in my life and I can’t believe sometimes our friendship is real.

The next message is somewhat sexually explicit. It seems that Kwame has sullied up the area around, and inside, Ms. Beatty’s vagina with his seminal fluid. The Mayor is worried that Ms. Beatty’s husband may suspect (rightfully) that another man has defiled his bride.

Mayor to Beatty

Everything is cool. Did you get busted? You were kind of wet last night, inside and out. LOL.

Ms. Beatty isn’t necessarily a prude, but she does not want to make the Mayor feel uncomfortable by initiating sodomy improperly. Sometimes men are repulsed by the thought of receiving fellatio, especially if the request isn’t worded timely and appropriately. Kwame advises Ms. Beatty on how to properly proceed in the future.

Beatty to Mayor:

I really wanted to give you some good head this morning and I didn’t know how to ask you to let me do it. I wanted to since Friday night when you asked me at the club.

Mayor to Beatty:

Next time, just tell me to sit down, shut up, and do your thing!

Beatty to Mayor:

I know, I’m sorry. I have done that before and I will do it again. I just didn’t want you to be turned off if you weren’t in the mood.

That is it for today’s Mayor Kwame pager chronicles. Stay tuned for plea bargaining and sentencing updates. R.I.P. Strawberry, your killers will be punished. Ms. Beatty, please stop wrecking homes. We have enough trifling man-stealers in this country as it is.

I think it’s absurd to assert that every woman that works with a man is a whore. I think it’s disrespectful not just to Christine Beatty but to women who do a professional job that they do every single day. And it’s also disrespectful to their families as well. ~ Kwame Kilpatrick


9 Responses to “Detroit Mayor Sex Scandal: The Unredacted Pager Messages”


  1. 1 Anonymous
    May 1, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Does this really surprise you? Detroit is a pathetically run city. Take a look at Detroit’s most recent City Council meeting…

  2. 2 Timbre
    May 1, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Wow. I don’t think her term Renigging is a neologism, i just think she might be ig’nant—now that’s a neologism. Or is it, brain is fried from the idiocy of their conversation…Big Ups, Jay-Pee.

  3. May 2, 2008 at 9:06 am

    These two idiots were definintely captivated by the the spirit of lust. But i’m sure time and space will admonish and tame their lusty spirits. (Renigging) that’s kind of funny. That’s a nigga for ya! She should have known better; he was being the dog he’s always been – his dog friends are probally howling now – roof roof – He’s sitting somewhere with his tail tucked in and his head hung low – no pun intended.

    Peace, Light and Love,
    CordieB

  4. 4 Manco
    May 2, 2008 at 9:39 am

    I’ve often been captivated by the spirit of lust. Pixies grabbed me by my toes and flew me over polymorphously perverse seas to the mind-expanding jungle beyond the human spirit.

  5. May 2, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    @Mango. That spirit of lust is something ain’t she; but you ain’t lived till you’ve been bitten at least once! (wink) Have a happy, happy Friday!

  6. 6 Manco
    May 3, 2008 at 1:29 am

    If you’re doing the biting, Cordieb, I’m hip to your game.

  7. 7 c
    May 4, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    It’s so stupid that it’s sad, that it’s funny.
    So many missteps.
    But when one is in the grips, he/she will do and say and think crazy, nonsense.

    i feel sorry for the spouses, children.

  8. 8 Di
    May 5, 2008 at 9:47 am

    After he said she would be his “girl friend forever”, he dropped like a hot potato, or so it seems.

    What I can’t believe is that citizens of Detroit still defend him…

    I hope Tamara Green gets justice.

  9. May 5, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    YOYO,

    Did you know that this cat came down here to Tallahassee, aka TallaNASTY, to hide out. LOL.. That’s completely crazy. I swear I didn’t have anything to do with his capture.. Excuse me while I spend my Reward…err Stimulus Check..

    Johnnypeeper’s response:

    I am very proud of you Justin. Not only do you rebuff the advances of sin-driven hookers, but you facilitate law enforcement in capturing rogue politicians. As my hero Sean Hannity says, “you are a great American.”


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Johnny Peepers

----> is a socio-pathetic degenerate with a penchant for cheap booze, ruphy-laden broads, and dim sum soup.

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